“You're lucky you're losing/you've lost weight.”
You’re lucky you can eat. Our stomachs are paralysed**.
We could starve to death.
It’s not a diet plan.
For your own sake, just...No.
“You need to stop taking so much medicine.”
Unless you've been through our medical records with a fine toothed comb, and attended each and every one of our appointments, when it comes to commenting on the types and amount of medication we take, just, NO!
“Doctors should take you off all your meds and you’ll probably feel much better. They’re probably causing your problems.”
Thanks, Einstein.
See the above point and add another huge just...No!
“You talk about your sickness too much.”
It impacts on every
part of our lives and bodies' systems. Saying this is
so belittling of what anyone with an invisible illness fights through everyday.
If you're bored, try understanding that there are psychological benefits to expressing our pain - physical or emotional. And try imaging what's it like living with a stomach that doesn't work** - food is everywhere! It's such a big part of our social lives, not to mention the fact humans need it to survive.
Sometimes, we talk about our illnesses because we're trying to make you understand how it effects us, our families, friendships, career, freedom, ability to eat, drink, wash, stand, sit...getting the idea yet?
And maybe you
need to develop your empathy the same way we
have developed the strength to deal with our illnesses on a daily basis...
“My stomach acts up sometimes too.”
We get that you're probably trying to empathise and show some support by saying things like this, but having a tummy bug or even IBS is
not the same as having a paralysed stomach.
Viruses pass and people with IBS do not generally end up needing
feeding tubes.
Try saying
something like, 'My stomach acts up sometimes, and that's bad enough. I can't imagine what it must be like to have
Gastroparesis'.
This way, you're still relating, but also acknowledging that you have no idea what it's like to have a paralysed stomach.
“Hope you get better soon.” You mean well, right?
So what’s wrong with this? Gastroparesis, like many other invisible illnesses, is never going to get better and go away. There may be easier days and harder days. if we have told you about our permanent illnesses and you say this, then to us, it feels like you haven't listened or understood a thing we said.
Just...No.
Try saying
“I hope it eases” or "I hope you have a better day tomorrow" instead. Saying 'a good day' can be equally as irritating, as many people don't have 'good days'
“You’re too young to have that.”
Quite literally one of the dumbest things anyone can ever
tell an ill person.
Not all illness are associated with age.
Just...NO!